The School of Comparative Irrelevance
Where useless or impossible courses are given.
Mandate: To turn out scholars capable of endlessly increasing the number of unnecessary subjects.
Department of Tetrapyloctomy. This department of useless techniques has a preparatory function; its purpose is to inculcate a sense of irrelevance. Courses:
DUT0013 Tetrapyloctomy: The art of splitting hairs four ways
DUT0017 Potio-section: The art of slicing soup
DUT0019 Mechanical Avunculogratulation: Building machines for greeting uncles.
DUT0023 Pylocatabasis. The art of being saved by a hair.
Department of Adynata, or Impossibilia. The essence of the discipline is the comprehension of the underlying reasons for a thing's absurdity. Courses:
DOA9543 Morse syntax
DOA9654 History of Antarctic Agriculture
DOA9210 History of Easter Island Painting
DOA9191 Contemporary Sumerian Literature
DOA9123 Montessori Grading
DOA9444 Assyrio-Babylonian Philately
DOA9203 The Technology of the Wheel in Pre-Columbian Empires
DOA9111 The Phonetics of the Silent Film
DOA9876 Gypsy Urban Planning
DOA9321 Aztec Equitation
Department of Oxymoronics. Courses:
DOX1221 Tradition in Revolution
DOX3443 Democratic Oligarchy
DOX5665 Parmenidean Dynamics
DOX7887 Heraclitean Statics
DOX1001 Spartan Sybaritics
DOX2112 Tautological Dialectics
DOX4554 A Grammar of Solecisms
(Adapted from Umberto Eco’s novel ''Foucault's Pendulum''
)
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